Wednesday 19th November  17:07 pm Good Afternoon

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column August Losing Face 10th August 2007 The real reasons for the Stockmarket crash So what I think happened is this: American banks have been lending money to slack-jawed Gerry Springer-fodder, who haven’t been able to keep up with their payments. As a result all the investment bankers are hunched weeping over their Blackberries, instead of flashing their cash, and I’m no longer being bought cocktails when I go out near the City. It doesn’t really seem fair, does it? In truth, the City of London isn’t having too serious a crisis of confidence, in spite of the headlines and the exciting spiky graphs next to them. Certainly any photographer heading up to try and catch a hedge fund manager leaping to his death from the 28th floor of 30 St Mary Axe would have been sadly disappointed (in any case, it would be more of a slide than a leap if you were near the top of The Gherkin). But it did lead me to wonder exactly what all these people were actually doing up there. They work these 80-hour weeks, and earn enough money to happily ply a random girl with cocktails all night, even though she would never, ever date a man in a pinstripe suit. Yet they still can’t figure out that cash leant to Mid-Western mouthbreathers, whose only qualifications are the stars on their name-badges, might not represent a brilliant investment. Frankly, the ‘sub-prime mortgage market’ and ‘diversified risk’ have far less to do with this chaos than bloody Facebook. Journalists are pretty early adopters when it comes to procrastination applications, but by the time I arrived on Facebook, every stockbroker, accountant and banker in London was already there, changing their status every 7 minutes, and posting drivel on each other’s walls. It’s hardly surprising, given how astoundingly dull their jobs must be, but it probably left them with about three minutes each day to study the financial markets. London’s exclusive restaurants, glitteriest bars, and dullest sporting events* are going to find themselves pretty empty while the money-men try to pick up the pieces of this latest balls-up. But since they’ve all just been banned from Facebook by their companies - and have completely lost the ability to communicate with their friends by any other means - perhaps the City-boys wouldn’t have been out much anyway. *Cricket matches, obviously. Rock ‘n’ Roll-ups They might be pushing pensioner age but Rolling Stones Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards proved they’ve still got that rebel streak in them. Lighting up cigarettes on the O2 stage despite the smoking ban has sparked controversy but the crowd loved this rock ‘n’ roll spirit, however far it is from the wildness of the band’s early days… Anyone seen a Constable? It was bound to be one of those "I’ll just put it there for safe keeping" moments when a Mr John Platt slipped Constable’s drawing of a church between the pages of his art volumes, which were left to the British Museum. Over 100 years on, the sketch has been discovered by curator Felicity Myrone and now scholars are scratching their heads over how Platt had it in the first place. Big Lot of Fuss over Nothing It’s still uncertain whether this is another publicity stunt (Louis Walsh and X Factor springs to mind) but Celebrity Big Brother is looking set to be axed from our screens following last year’s controversy. How will we cope without a handful of Z-listers tearing each other to bits? October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce 10th August Mystery Play is No Sell Out