Wednesday 19th November  17:45 pm Good Afternoon

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 20th April 2007 Your Next Train May Not Arrive It appears Londoners have got a lot of time to rail against the Tube. No need to stop press for this one! Sherlock Holmes would have no trouble unravelling this crime and pointing the finger of blame. Well, not if he tried to get on the Tube at Baker Street anyway. In fact, if you’d been wandering around London in a semi-conscious daze for the past decade you would still have noticed – the Tube is not really on time. Now, a survey has merely confirmed what commuters tapping their feet, glancing at their watches, lolling their heads already know - there are more delays lasting 15 minutes or more now then ten years ago, 84 more to be precise. In other news it has been revealed that we spend more than 15 days a year travelling to and from work. For us poor unfortunates using the Tube this means a large chunck of that time is spent feeling stressed before we’ve even arrived at our desks and had that crucial first cup of coffee. Whilst pondering why, despite billions of pounds, the trains are still so unreliable I’ve come to the conclusion that the Tube people simply can’t tell the time. If those electronic boards that tell you when the next train is due are anything to go by this must be the case. Many times I’ve looked up and seen ‘Northern Line 1 min’ and thought ‘great, just in time’ and still been waiting there well over 60 seconds later. OK, so I actually counted but I had to do something to quell my rising anger at being blatantly lied to! On one particularly depressing occasion I was attempting to get the last Tube home (naïve I know) from London Bridge. The evil board was counting down the time, wrongly, from ‘10 mins’ and when it got to ‘1 min’ it just disappeared. Not the train - that never arrived - but there was no record of where it went, no announcement to say it was cancelled, just an empty platform and the prospect of a £25 cab journey home. And the sheer expense of it all makes it worse. Firstly we’re told we must own Oyster cards - let’s not pretend there’s a choice in the matter unless you want to be robbed in broad daylight by the ticket machine. I grant you, other things do get more expensive but that’s because they get quicker, have a new design, are made with more megapixels per second. Not so with the Tube. We just throw money at it and it gets worse. We’re terribly British about the whole thing and wouldn’t have anybody from out of town (good grief, don’t mention the Metro) pouring scorn on our beloved Tube but there is a limit! If you bought something in a shop that was as rubbish you’d definitely take it back – maybe we could point the Tube, the Northern Line in particular, in the direction of Transport for London and just get them to take it back. And then they could pedestrianise London and everyone would be happier…but that’s another story altogether! Take Me to the Gorillas Black Cab drivers are being given the chance to extend their Knowledge by getting off the road and travelling into Africa - without leaving London. Used to dropping tourists off at the gate of London Zoo, cabbies and their families can visit for free between 11th and 14th May and navigate their way around the 36 acre site, which is home to hundreds of animals. A Different Planet Chelsea meets the cosmos at this year's flower show as roses and petunias (so last century) make way for plants that could grow in outer space. Designer Sarah Eberle is creating a terrestrial space garden located on planet Mars - "600 Days with Bradstone" belongs to an astronaut on a 600-day tour and is said to be within the realms of scientific possibility. On Top of the Iceberg As temperatures soar in London, there’ll be one place this summer to positively chill out as the Natural History Museum creates an Antarctic experience. Visitors, taking on the role of Ice Cadets, will be plunged into a sub-zero world (with protective clothing!) where they can ride snowmobiles, survive in complete darkness and visit a penguin colony. All in the middle of South Kensington from 25th May. October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce